I have everyday of my life between May 2009-August 2011 archived in five journals.
I also have a notebook of nightly messages between my mother and I from June 2004-August 2008.
Looking back on it I was inspired by Harriet the Spy. However, I only started living after I stopped writing. I’m glad that I did write though, because I can see how much I’ve changed and grown up.
No longer do I live in a fantasy super weeaboo/otaku world where I secretly can’t stand my friends and haven’t the foggiest idea of who I am. I’m no longer depressed over unfortunate events and completely obsessed with things that don’t matter. Presently I’m happy and enlightened. I’m enjoying life and living life more fervently than I ever have before.
“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals—sounds that say listen to this, it is important.”—
I’m listening to Death Cab for Cutie’s album ‘Plans.’
I’m reading ‘The Thief of Always’ by Clive Barker.
I’m thinking of my summer days long ago.
When I think of these days, I feel sick. Is it the intense nostalgia? Is it from knowing I can’t touch those days anymore? Is it from the memories being hazy and far-away? I want to tell my memories to someone. I know they don’t/won’t/wouldn’t care, but I just want to get it out of my mind; out of my throat.
Today my friends met my boyfriend for the first time! They all seemed to like him and said we were a cute couple! He liked them too. I was actually very nervous for this, but it all went better than expected! The past two days with James were incredible. I love him and my friends so much!
James (my boyfriend) and I had the most wonderful day. It may be one of the best since our relationship started! We swam in the sunshine, played with his Wii, and old-school N64 during the day.
At night we ventured to see fireworks. We laid back on a blanket and watched them illuminate the sky whilst holding hands. Instead of sitting in traffic, we took a quiet walk back to his house under the full moon.